How to score – 7 bands and over in essays – in just 15 sentences

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The basic pattern

1. Introduction – 2 Sentences – 40-60 words
2. Body Paragraph 1 – 4 sentences – 60-80 words
3. Body Paragraph 2 – 4 sentences – 60-80 words
4. Body Paragraph 3 – 4 sentences – 60-80 words
5. Conclusion – 1 Sentence – 20-30 words

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Do the benefits of machine automation outweigh the drawbacks?

Writing the introduction – 2 Sentences

Background Statement – Sentence 1
Thesis (Your opinion) – Sentence 2

Background Statement

It is nothing but paraphrasing the question, which is nothing but writing the question in our own words.
Step 1: Paraphrase and write the introduction
Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated.

It is true that in recent years there has been a considerable advancement in robotics and automation, and many challenging tasks are now done through machines. (Sentence1)

Thesis

This is your opinion : In this case the question is whether the advantages or drawbacks are more?
So, your opinion can be
advantages are more than disadvantages
or
disadvantages are more than advantages

Step1: Make a list of pros and cons for the topic – automation

Pros                   
1) Save human lives                         
Replacing humans in dangerous jobs like bomb disposal, working in mines,
Example: Japan cleaning of nuclear reactor
Health care- complicated surgeries possible due to robotics. Earlier not possible
2) Saves time – Giving us more to enjoy and relax
Boring, monotonous work done by machines
Example: household chores like washing, cleaning done by vacuum cleaners, washing machines.
Thus, we can spend more time with family or on hobbies.
3) Higher productivity – More efficient
Cheaper products for customers
More profits for industry owners
Cons
1) Unemployment – Displace factory workers
Increase income inequality
Benefitting factory owners more than employees
2) Automation can lead to dehumanization
Making interactions lack feelings and empathy
For example: Dealing with robots in place of humans. Doesn’t give the same level of satisfaction.

Step 2:  Whatever is more, form opinion on the basis of that.
Thesis – Cons less, Pros more.
Although there are a few drawbacks of the growing usage of machines, I believe the advantages certainly outweigh them.(Sentence 2)

Introduction: It is true that in recent years there has been a considerable advancement in robotics and automation, and many challenging tasks are now done through machines. Although there are a few drawbacks of the growing usage of machines, I believe the advantages certainly outweigh them. (41 words)

Writing the Body Paragraphs

Body Paragraph 1 (Sentences 3 to 6):

Step1: Pick one side, it can either advantages or disadvantages, doesn’t matter which are more.
Step 2: Write the first sentence, which tells the examiner what the paragraph is about- in this case advantages and disadvantages along with the first point.
Step 3: Explain the first point. (Sentence 4,5,6)
Note: Use a connector for the point. For example: To begin with, the first advantage of, the main benefit of, Firstly,

The first benefit of automation is that it saves human lives. There are many dangerous jobs like mining, bomb disposal, sewage cleaning, where they have made human involvement redundant. For instance, in Fukushima robots were employed and are still being used to clean the nuclear fusion disaster. Similarly, in health care, many complex surgeries have been made possible by robotics, saving precious human lives. (Sentence 3,4,5,6)

Body Paragraph 2 (Sentences 7 – 10):

Step 1: Explain the second point. (Sentence 7,8)
Step 2: Explain the third point. (Sentence 9,10)

Secondly, automation saves time enabling people to enjoy and relax. For instance, many monotonous and repetitive works like washing, cleaning etcetera can be done by machines, thus saving people time, which they can spend with friends or family or on their hobbies. (Sentence 7, 8)

Finally, automation enables higher productivity and efficiency by reducing labour costs and errors. This not only benefits employers by increasing profits, but also consumers by providing cheaper, quality products. (Sentence 9,10)

Body Paragraph 3 (Sentences 11 – 14):

Step 1: Use a contrast connector like On the other hand, However to inform the examiner that you have switched to drawbacks.
Step2: Mention the disadvantage 1 and explain it (Sentence 11,12)
Step3: Mention the disadvantage 2 and explain it ( Sentence 13,14)
Note: use connectors with the points.

On the other hand, the main drawback of automation is that it can displace human labour and lead to unemployment. In a way, this also leads to income equality, benefitting the industry owners and hurting the employees. (Sentence 11,12)

Another negative of machines is that they lead to dehumanization. Interacting with machines cannot provide the same sense of satisfaction as talking to a human as machines cannot empathize and understand our feelings. (Sentence 13,14)

Conclusion

Step1: Just one sentence, use a formal connector like In conclusion, To conclude, In summary, To sum up.
Please don’t use idioms like Every coin has two sides, Every rose has thorns- Informal and cliched.

Step2: Repeat the thesis.

To summarize, I would like to reiterate that while automation has some disadvantages, I believe that advantages are far more.(Sentence 15)

The whole essay

It is true that in recent years there has been a considerable advancement in robotics and automation, and many challenging tasks are now done through machines. Although there are a few drawbacks of the growing usage of machines, I believe the advantages certainly outweigh them.
(45 words)                                                                                 

The first benefit of automation is that it saves human lives. There are many dangerous jobs like mining, bomb disposal, sewage cleaning, where they have made human involvement redundant. For instance, in Fukushima robots were employed and are still being used to clean the nuclear fusion disaster. Similarly, in health care, many complex surgeries, which were earlier considered too risky, have been made possible by robotics, saving precious human lives. (64 words)

Secondly, automation saves time enabling people to enjoy and relax. For instance, many monotonous and repetitive works like washing, cleaning etcetera can be done by machines, thus saving people time, which they can spend with friends or family or on their hobbies. Finally, automation enables higher productivity and efficiency by reducing labour costs and errors. This not only benefits employers by increasing profits, but also consumers by providing cheaper, quality products. (71 words)

On the other hand, the main drawback of automation is that it can displace human labour and lead to unemployment. In a way, this also leads to income equality, benefitting the industry owners and hurting the employees. Another negative of machines is that they lead to dehumanization. Interacting with machines can provide the same sense of satisfaction as talking to a human as machines cannot empathise and understand our feelings. (70 words)

To summarize, I would like to reiterate that while increasing dependence on automation has some disadvantages, I believe that advantages are far more. (23 words)

Total Length – 265 words.

More Examples of Advantage/Disadvantage Essays can be found here.