How to score – 7 bands and over in essays – in just 15 sentences

Student Reviews

The basic pattern

  1. Introduction – 2 Sentences – 40-60 words
  2. Body Paragraph 1 – 4 sentences – 60-80 words
  3. Body Paragraph 2 – 4 sentences – 60-80 words
  4. Body Paragraph 3 – 4 sentences – 60-80 words
  5. Conclusion – 1 Sentence – 20-30 words

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Do the benefits of machine automation outweigh the drawbacks?

Writing the introduction – 2 Sentences

Background Statement – Sentence 1
Thesis (Your opinion) – Sentence 2

Background Statement

It is nothing but paraphrasing the question, which is nothing but writing the question in our own words.
Step 1: Paraphrase and write the introduction
Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated.

It is true that in recent years there has been a considerable advancement in robotics and automation, and many challenging tasks are now done through machines. (Sentence1)

Thesis

This is your opinion : In this case the question is whether the advantages or drawbacks are more?
So, your opinion can be
advantages are more than disadvantages
or
disadvantages are more than advantages

Step1: Make a list of pros and cons for the topic – automation

Pros                   
1) Save human lives                         
Replacing humans in dangerous jobs like bomb disposal, working in mines,
Example: Japan cleaning of nuclear reactor
Health care- complicated surgeries possible due to robotics. Earlier not possible
2) Saves time – Giving us more to enjoy and relax
Boring, monotonous work done by machines
Example: household chores like washing, cleaning done by vacuum cleaners, washing machines.
Thus, we can spend more time with family or on hobbies.
3) Higher productivity – More efficient
Cheaper products for customers
More profits for industry owners
Cons
1) Unemployment – Displace factory workers
Increase income inequality
Benefitting factory owners more than employees
2) Automation can lead to dehumanization
Making interactions lack feelings and empathy
For example: Dealing with robots in place of humans. Doesn’t give the same level of satisfaction.

Step 2:  Whatever is more, form opinion on the basis of that.
Thesis – Cons less, Pros more.
Although there are a few drawbacks of the growing usage of machines, I believe the advantages certainly outweigh them.(Sentence 2)

Introduction: It is true that in recent years there has been a considerable advancement in robotics and automation, and many challenging tasks are now done through machines. Although there are a few drawbacks of the growing usage of machines, I believe the advantages certainly outweigh them. (41 words)

Writing the Body Paragraphs

Body Paragraph 1 (Sentences 3 to 6):

Step1: Pick one side, it can either advantages or disadvantages, doesn’t matter which are more.
Step 2: Write the first sentence, which tells the examiner what the paragraph is about- in this case advantages and disadvantages along with the first point.
Step 3: Explain the first point. (Sentence 4,5,6)
Note: Use a connector for the point. For example: To begin with, the first advantage of, the main benefit of, Firstly,

The first benefit of automation is that it saves human lives. There are many dangerous jobs like mining, bomb disposal, sewage cleaning, where they have made human involvement redundant. For instance, in Fukushima robots were employed and are still being used to clean the nuclear fusion disaster. Similarly, in health care, many complex surgeries have been made possible by robotics, saving precious human lives. (Sentence 3,4,5,6)

Body Paragraph 2 (Sentences 7 – 10):

Step 1: Explain the second point. (Sentence 7,8)
Step 2: Explain the third point. (Sentence 9,10)

Secondly, automation saves time enabling people to enjoy and relax. For instance, many monotonous and repetitive works like washing, cleaning etcetera can be done by machines, thus saving people time, which they can spend with friends or family or on their hobbies. (Sentence 7, 8)

Finally, automation enables higher productivity and efficiency by reducing labour costs and errors. This not only benefits employers by increasing profits, but also consumers by providing cheaper, quality products. (Sentence 9,10)

Body Paragraph 3 (Sentences 11 – 14):

Step 1: Use a contrast connector like On the other hand, However to inform the examiner that you have switched to drawbacks.
Step2: Mention the disadvantage 1 and explain it (Sentence 11,12)
Step3: Mention the disadvantage 2 and explain it ( Sentence 13,14)
Note: use connectors with the points.

On the other hand, the main drawback of automation is that it can displace human labour and lead to unemployment. In a way, this also leads to income equality, benefitting the industry owners and hurting the employees. (Sentence 11,12)

Another negative of machines is that they lead to dehumanization. Interacting with machines cannot provide the same sense of satisfaction as talking to a human as machines cannot empathize and understand our feelings. (Sentence 13,14)

Conclusion

Step1: Just one sentence, use a formal connector like In conclusion, To conclude, In summary, To sum up.
Please don’t use idioms like Every coin has two sides, Every rose has thorns- Informal and cliched.

Step2: Repeat the thesis.

To summarize, I would like to reiterate that while automation has some disadvantages, I believe that advantages are far more.(Sentence 15)

The whole essay

It is true that in recent years there has been a considerable advancement in robotics and automation, and many challenging tasks are now done through machines. Although there are a few drawbacks of the growing usage of machines, I believe the advantages certainly outweigh them.
(45 words)                                                                                 

The first benefit of automation is that it saves human lives. There are many dangerous jobs like mining, bomb disposal, sewage cleaning, where they have made human involvement redundant. For instance, in Fukushima robots were employed and are still being used to clean the nuclear fusion disaster. Similarly, in health care, many complex surgeries, which were earlier considered too risky, have been made possible by robotics, saving precious human lives. (64 words)

Secondly, automation saves time enabling people to enjoy and relax. For instance, many monotonous and repetitive works like washing, cleaning etcetera can be done by machines, thus saving people time, which they can spend with friends or family or on their hobbies. Finally, automation enables higher productivity and efficiency by reducing labour costs and errors. This not only benefits employers by increasing profits, but also consumers by providing cheaper, quality products. (71 words)

On the other hand, the main drawback of automation is that it can displace human labour and lead to unemployment. In a way, this also leads to income equality, benefitting the industry owners and hurting the employees. Another negative of machines is that they lead to dehumanization. Interacting with machines can provide the same sense of satisfaction as talking to a human as machines cannot empathise and understand our feelings. (70 words)

To summarize, I would like to reiterate that while increasing dependence on automation has some disadvantages, I believe that advantages are far more. (23 words)

Total Length – 265 words.

More Examples of Advantage/Disadvantage Essays can be found here.


4 thoughts on “Essay”

  1. Hello Ma’am,
    Thank you for your short and simple ways to write the task 2 essays, it helps a lot really.
    I had a query in the advantage/disadvantage essay, sometimes we are asked a neutral question like:

    Most career choices demand vocational skills or specialist knowledge. However, despite this, most schools still teach academic subjects such as
    history or social studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?

    In such a question I don’t think opinion will be important, so for this shall we go for only 2 body paragraphs, one for pros and other for cons, will that be fine, or shall we go for the above format in this page of yours?.

    Thank you,

    Your learner,
    Yuvraj.

  2. Dear KIran Mam,
    Can you please check this writing task 2 and give your feedback along with the score.

    Statement: Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization.
    why might this be the case?
    What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

    It is true that these days masses are selecting to do freelancing instead of work under any organization. I will shed a light on this case in the next paragraph.

    The first reason for self-employment is freedom from restrictions. For instance, people need to follow each and every rule made by the organization however it is not part of own work. Secondly, be self-employed is a great yardstick to learn new skills every day with different kinds of tasks. For example, people related to the IT industry can receive the best opportunities to work on their dream projects as per their own skills.

    The first drawback of being self-employed is the fixed remuneration. Freelancing did not give the assurity of the monthly income therefore this can be the reason behind the instability in terms of finances. For instance, if in any month people will not get work as per their requirements or as much as they need to fulfill their monthly expenditures then this can be a hurdle for them.

    Secondly, self-employed people can not imbibe the qualities of teamwork. Working in a team gives the sense of responsibility for their own tasks which is the good reason behind the career growth. For example, self-employed people work in their own comfort and because of this, they do not deliver their work on committed time.

    Lastly, the organization working structure and atmosphere can not get in self-employment.
    The company working criteria and atmosphere can boost the confidence and energy to do more work in which people are able to learn the workflow of these organizations. Moreover, the facilities given by these companies are beneficial for the future. For example, medical leaves, paid leaves, health insurance etcetera.

    Overall, freelancing is becoming popular these days among people however there are many disadvantages as well to be self-employed.

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